posted on Apr 29, 2026
My good friend Groovy drew me some Weskers for my birthday, and I got inspired by her wonderful art to ponder Wesker and Zeno headcanon origins as little babbies in white dresses.
I just want both these mean old stinky men to be traumatized little girls used/abused/dehumanized as test subjects much like Lisa or Sherry or Marie or... like every single other tiny babby gorl in the series😀
And then I got to thinking about Zeno being younger than Wesker, but probably knowing about Wesker and growing up in the shadow of Project W. But he'd choose to emulate Wesker as one of the few successes of project W, as every girl of his own "Project W", the memory transfer project, was a failure. Why not become a success? Thus ensues his yume-selfcest obsessive fanboy arc. Totally not inspired by any interactions I've ever had with some interesting fans! Totally not inspired by myself getting 😼 when Shane gets me a jacket that looks like Brock Samson's jacket...
So in my fucked up and evil headcanons that I can make because Zeno is such an underdeveloped character for now, I don't believe Zeno is a Wesker clone. He's one of the Emily/Spencer clones, and an asset of the stupid Connections probably from the ARK project being seized by them :P And Gideon calls him a cheap imitation cuz, well, Gideon sees Z as a fanboy in cosplay. Hell, Gideon is probably old enough to have perhaps watched over Project W if Gideon was old enough to be Spencer's protege.
I'm ready for all of this to be bullshit if they release a money grab DLC to try to patch up the many holes in the story of RE9. And I'm also ready to make my own funny AU with no relation to any actual plot point, with Wesker and Zeno running around holding hands together as creepy little bald girls in white doll dresses 🦍💖
As for why Grampy Wesker is still alive in the art. IDK maybe 50 years "T" Virus lets you survive a splash of lava. They'd just make a cute couple OK!!! Creepy fanboy who copies everything about their object of affection finally gets to meet their idol, and the object of affection that just has to grin and bear with it to use the fanboy for their own machinations later...
Image description:
3 page comic titled "non-sharing". It's a sequence depicting a little gorl deciding to become Wesker. Page 1 has 5 panels. Panel 1 - A little girl with red bulgey eyes. "Once upon a time there once was a little girl. She had a lot of sisters, but she was so lonely in her white padded cell". Panel 2 - The little girl is holding an Albert Wesker doll and smiling. She says "I love Lezident Evil (1996) for the PlayStation 1... I LUV MR. WHISKERS! HE'S REAL TO ME DAMMIT...". Caption, "So she made an imaginary friend from a character in her favorite interactive book!". Panel 3 - The little girl has cut her hair into a slicked back American Psycho type thing. She has glasses on. She says, "IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU I SHALL BECOME YOU". The caption reads, "She loved her friend so much, she made him become real." Intertitle, "After 20 years T-Virus...". Panel 4 - We see the little girl, now as Zeno from RE9, squealing in joy as he sees a black trench coat sold for $7777. He goes EEEEEE as he thinks about Wesker in RE5 with love hearts. Panel 5 - Zeno puts on the jacket and sweats pervertedly. He says, "It smells sooooo goooood.... OMG... it's like he GAVE it to ME!!! cuz he loves ONLY ME!".Page 2 of "non-sharing" has 4 panels. Panel 1 - Another little girl clone runs up to Zeno and says, "Hey nii chan, I played DBD and I like whiskers too! let's be friends!" Zeno looks pissed from his trenchcoat. Panel 2 - Zeno takes out a slip of paper, and says angrily, "READ MY CARRD BYF" (before you follow). The paper says "ONE TRUE WESKER WIFE DOUBLES DNI" (do not interact). The little clone girl stares blankly up at Zeno. Panel 3 - Zeno kicks the little girl out of the panel, saying a copy/pasta of what some person on Instagram commented on my art, "it's absolutely disgusting, the man is dead and this is the vile shite you want to do with him, wesker was right that humans like you should be exterminated", then "GET LOST KID!". The end caption says, "...and so the dreamer and the waifu lived happily ever after. Selfcest as self-discovery, self-actualization, and self-love. The End." The last panel is Zeno staring at his reflection in a pond, the reflection looking like Wesker in RE5. IT's a parody of the classic painting of Narcissus staring at himself in the water.Page 3 of "non-sharing" is an illustration of Zeno and old man Wesker. Zeno is holding up his stupidly large gun, and Wesker is decrepit in a wheel chair missing an arm and both legs. There's also a side view of Wesker nakey with all his blackened burn marks on his body. The notes read, "OH how I love necromantic age gap selfcest with geriatric uke and absolutely no basis in anything but fujodelusion", Zeno thinks "MISSION, protect grandpa Whisker's chastity at ALL COSTS!". An arrow points at zeno, the text reading "Age 38, cringe fail zoomer whiskas". An arrow points at Wesker, reading "Age 68, Grampy Weskey fished out the lava. NOT bruce wayne from Batman Beyond. Remaining arm is hella crispy". And finally, the note pointing at crispy nakey Wesker's slicked back and balding hair is, "HAIRLINE! probably bald spot here".
